Friday, June 16, 2006

Post-Anxiety Attack : An Unfinished Conversation

Exhaustion)

Adrenaline has left the building
Can someone start the Mexican wave please?

Hello pain
Nice to meet you, frustration
Have I met you before, disappointment?
Yes, I know you, sadness.
Yes I know all you
You all
I do.

Welcome to my humble abode
No, I am not alone
Though sometimes I felt like a tiny black dot
On a canvas of white
But I am not
Alone, that is
You see, poetry has been living with me
Since when?
Let me think

…………

Wow, can’t even remember since when!
(Pretentious laughter)

Come again?
Can you repeat that question?
Gosh, my ears have failed me so many times
Ahhh…
Oh yes…. Him
No, no capital H, just him
He is still here
No, no no no capital H
Okay, he is still here
Though I can’t seem to reach him
My arms, under developed
And of course, the rest is history

Eons away from touching
Breathing
Tasting him
Yes, this time you got the h right.
Yes, I am proud of you.
No, I don’t pat ego on the head.

………….


Yeah, I guess you’re right
Maybe he is not here at all
Well, you could be wrong too
Coz
Because he used to be there
Yes, I do notice the past tense there, thank you.
You’re a great help, ego.
Yes you are.
No I won’t pat you on the head.

…………..

Eh? You thought you saw a pussy cat?
Black like night
Or noir, sounds much nicer,
I think so too.
Well, that’s poetry
Gorgeous poetry
Always there when I needed
Need a chalice
A uterus
A tupperware
To fill in my sorrows
To pour them all in
So that they won’t touch the ground
And kill everything
in plain sight

…………

Oh, sorry!
Didn’t realise I went quiet for awhile
How odd
I really thought I was still speaking
I believed I was
Well, maybe I was
Maybe my lips were too tired to utter
My tongue too limp to articulate
My heart too broken to beat
Yes, the beat
Doob doob doob doob
No, I am not sure how it’s spelled like
But it’s close enough though
and its better than nothing
Better than
better than everything that touches the ground
better than those
that kill everything.

…………

This time I really meant silence

…………