Monday, April 14, 2008

Green Eyed Bitch

Dear Ishmael,

You dont have to fuck her
for me to know that you are cheating on me
you tell me she's just a friend
but that look that you gave her
has the same weight and value as your hands groping and undressing her
and I saw that
that look that she threw back to you
when she thinks that I wasnt looking
But I saw it
that curve at the end of her lips, guised as a twitch but I knew it was a smile
a smile right suited for a job being well done after a lot of blowing, if you know what I mean
nuff said so I was there
a helpless member of a psychological threesome,
a mind fuck where I am set aside
just to observe and suffer
and never share the pleasures that awaits the bed
and let me clarify to you,
it could have been the bed in in my house,
not yours or ours but mine coz the last time I remember,
I paid the rent, asshole.
so dont think I've not been observing
and calculating and figuring out the best time to rat you out bcoz in this relationship,
I am the brain,
and I am the brawn
and you're just the man I chose to procreate
our beautiful children who got all their good looks from my side
simultaneously correcting all the flaws from your side of the family
Damn I love you
and respect you,
and never hate you.
I was good to you, Ismael.
I never thought that all the attention I have showered on you have stroked your tiny ego
made you think that you are actually hot for the taking of any woman?
coz if you remember right
I made you attractive,
me sitting right here with you,
thru all the good and the bad,
made you look unavailable and automatically in the eyes of many,
all good for the taking.
but they didnt know coz :
they weren't there when you were the lowest of low, but I was
and they weren't there when you were pennyless and broke
but I was
and they weren't there when you begged to be given a third chance but
I was the one who picked you up and told you that everything is gonna be fine
and everything was fine
until this fateful day when you were late for me and
right on time for her
God, I should have worn a t-shirt that screams "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointing right at you.
But even if I was wearing it right there and then you wouldnt even notice
becoz you were too busy making conversations
with our friend
conversations that would never pop when we are two bcoz I am too smart for you
but with her,
you squeezed out and overworked your under average brains
and tried to impress her, your friend
who only wanted to outdo me,
the beautiful, curvaceous, sensual Amazonian woman, naturally
that part I understood, but this I dont, me, caught in a threeway dialogue:
She laughed, a calling of foreplay
counting the addition of another man in her all too full of a diary
you laughed back, aware of the easy pray
figuring out how lucky it is to be wanted and needed and desired
and there I stood,
the quiet, too of a jealous boring woman who couldnt talk about comics, or cars, or movies, or songs or anything
that a 15 years could.
So you two go and laugh it all out
until the sky turns red underneath our feet,
coz when the time of reckoning comes
I would screw you,
leave you for good,
make you regret to let the only woman who loves you
leaves you,
and you'll know who last the last then
coz that person is me
will be me
waving goodbye at you.

yours truly
A Green Eyed Bitch.