Thursday, August 04, 2011


*first performed at Urbanscapes for Frinjan and Klue

I stand here today
in front of this too cool for school audience of Urbanscapes
as witnesses to these words that I am about to say
to the jitteriness of these hands though now hidden behind this mic
they will soon surely betray

the fact that I would rather keep this poem
in the dark cold comfort of my secret hideaway
never to see the shimmering of the first sun light
hitting the vast canvas of a brand new day

Because in that small room, this poem will not be judged unfair
it will not be threatened with fear or crushed with a cruel glare
but because my country is fast slipping through my fingers
and yours too, I swear

I will say it here instead, even if it is still raw
even if it is still unprepared
even if I
am scared.


I have refused to sing that song called Negaraku
Refused to berdiri tegak, tangan rapat di sisi
Terima kasih cikgu, terima kasih cikgi,
sedap awak nyanyi, sila kembali ke kerusi

I am sick of singing another lagu patriotik
Sila senyum lebar, buai badan ke kanan dan ke kiri
Tunjuk gigi sikit tapi jangan sampai nampak gusi
Sedap awak nyanyi, sila kembali ke kerusi

This refusal of mine that does not mean I am ashamed of my country
That is ridiculous, I don't even need this IC to prove my love, my identity
This refusal is instead deeply rooted in hatred of such blatant hypocrisy
Confused? Let me show you a glimpse of what I hear, what I see

Milik semua but before that,
please fill this part stating if you are Melayu, India atau Cina
None of the above you said? We've got it covered, don't be afraid
Here, tick Dan Lain Lain. This is definitely the box where you belong lor.

Tanah tumpahnya darahku
and the blood of Beng Hock, Sarbaini, Altantuya Sharibuu
more to come, maybe yours too,
if you dig a little too deep too soon to uncover the truth

Rakyat Hidup bersatu dan maju
Just as long as you say what we want to hear
Just as long as you do what we want you to do
Did we not change our Harimau Malaya from kuning gemilang to haru biru?

Rahmat bahagia Tuhan kurniakan
the millions of Ringgit to Rosmah, rezeki dia lah kan?
See her flash sparkling stars plucked from the sky of Jacob & Co, New York
while a father of five struggled to feed his family today, let alone besok.

Raja kita selamat bertakhta
even though without the rakyat jelata, siapalah raja?
Better remind Abang Najib who ignored our king
only to bow down to a yellow dress wearing British queen.


Until the day comes
when we can sing Negaraku out of genuine pride
Until the clock strikes Merdeka
for our souls to once again take flight

Let me be the first in line,
let me be by your side
To silently fight for what I believe is universally right
Because I am a Malaysian, just like you

I have got nothing to hide.

2 poetic mutterings:

vanilamanis said...

sheena,the first time i saw you at the urbanscapes presenting this poet.i was standing there and was glued by your spirits.

you are so brave and i admire you so much.

Sheena Baharudin said...

Thank you so much for your comment. U have no idea how merah these cheeks of mine are right now :*)

Selamat berpuasa and oh, next time kalau kita bertemu lg, pls say hi! Hugs.