Saturday, July 07, 2012



(Abby Latif and I)



Malam ini bulan penuh
Tapi hati aku tidak
Mungkin kerana engkau tiada
Aku dongak
Itu dia
Kau.


Counting time.
Nibbling the seconds,
Nit-picking the hours
Carrying the weight
of the days I have left before
these eyes could once again
lay themselves on
you.


Ye, aku.
Sudah lama kau tunggu?


Only a minute
Open bracket Insert a lifetime Close bracket.
Maybe two


Aku senyum.
Mahu berkata
Tapi sesuatu menyekat tekakku
Bebola rindu.
Tangannya meraut wajahku.
Dahiku dikucup.
Hangat.


Aku rindukan engkau


Do you remember
our vow?

We would wish
for each other's bliss
no matter what may be
but now
the truth is this
that I do miss you terribly
always more
never less
it gnaws on a familiar ache
in my chest, threatening
to leave a trail of tears
every time I swear I think I saw
someone who looks
just like you


Air mata membasahi mataku
Namun tidak setitik pun
melangkah keluar dari kelopaknya.
Benarkah apa yang kudengar?
Tapi mengapa kau menghilang?
Kenapa engkau pergi?


Did I not tell you before?
I need time
to find me.


Supaya kau ada ruang.


You knew we both knew
We need space
to just be .


Aku tersenyum
Senda kami
Bagi ruang.
Adakah itu yang aku perlu?
Aku perlukan kau.


Tidak.


The word jumped out
a bit too soon.

We both felt the ominous drop.
Cold. Dark.


Apa maksudmu?


I lied to myself.
So I lied to you.


"Bukan aku yang kau perlu."


Apa kau tahu keperluanku?


I couldn't lie to myself.
I couldn't lie to you.


Perlumu, kasihku.


Apa guna kasihmu.
Tanpa kau disisiku.


Kau masih kusayangi.


and I do too
Deeply.
Unconditionally.


Dimanakah kasih sayang itu?


Aku disini bukan?


and you are still the one
whose name I call out at night
when no one is in sight.


Batin mu ku mahu.
Zahir mu ku perlu.
Kau satu
seluruh
milikku.

I lied to myself.
So I lied to you.


Aku bukan milikmu
Kau bukan milikku
Manusia tidak memiliki
Satu sama lain.


Until our souls rejoice
in the embrace of the One Divine
Truth is I am yours
and you are mine


Jadi kau akan pergi?
Meninggalkan aku lagi?


I swallowed the answers

they tasted bitter like
wilted leaves

Maybe
they are better off
in my head

there they are free
to transform into clouds
that float a quiet of
lingering certainties

there they can whisper
to the glowing moon
to never lift her eyes
from us two.


Lihat dan tenung hatimu.
Aku disitu.

0 poetic mutterings: